My Attempt at Being "The Onion"

For a while now, on my twitter page (@thesportsfan04), I've been receiving "tweets" (how ridiculous do you sound when you say THAT word, it's just as bad as "blog"...ugh) from the "Onion," the "Fake News Network." And they are fantastic. I've gotten headline tweets anywhere from "Nations Moron's March on Washington State" to "Teammates Fully Support Jonathan Papelbon's Claim That Playoff Loss Was His Fault" to "Redskins Hold Press Conference To Announce They Are Still Sort Of A Football Team."

Hilarious.

And if you actually click the links - which I do frequently - you find even funnier quips at the ends of minute-or-so-long satirical radio casts. Jokes like "the Onion now covers soccer and all other women's sports on the Onion radio network" are abundant.

So I've decided to try my hand. I'm not guaranteeing I'll have good "Onion" ideas all the time, but I'll try to think of good ones and post them here whenever I strike comedic gold. Here's my first try:

"Swine Flu a Brilliant Hoax by Purel to Gain More Business?"