A Brighter Look...BACK!

After a long delay, the ABL is back. I'm sure your life lacked without my shallow, sports-obsessed thoughts, but I hope this blog provides a little ray of sunshine for your day (See what I did there? Sunshine? "Brighter Look?")

Anyway, I'm quite excited to get back to writing, and as many of you know, I'm not shy about sharing details of my life with anyone. I'd be happy to tell you my life story, but I know that you really don't care. You want my take on sports. And that is absolutely fine, I like it that way. What I would like to do though, mostly to get me back in the writing groove, is to re-acclimate you to Grant Burkhardt the writer, the person, and the sports fanatic. So here are a few things about me.

1. I am, without a doubt, the worst text-messager in the history of cell phones. If I'm texting you and you go hours without getting a response, it's not because I don't like you...I just get sidetracked and forget. So, in advance, I'm sorry.

2. I think there are very few things better than the post-cereal drink of milk. Seriously, eat a bowl of cereal and tell me you weren't just ecstatic to get to the milk, which tastes remotely like the type of cereal you were chowing down.

2a. Favorite cereal: Special K

2b. Favorite post-cereal milk taste: Cheerios

3. Is there anything more demoralizing than your team having a bad start to the baseball season? As a baseball fan, there's nothing worse than your team losing 14 of its first 20 and leaving you saying, "oh gosh, we have to play 140 more of these wretched games? You're KIDDING ME!" I love baseball, but something has to be done to avoid the season being essentially over for Pirates fans before May even begins.

3a. Just saw Dodgers pitcher Hiroki Kuroda give up a bomb to left-center field...random MLB salary figure of the day - Kuroda is making $15,400,000 this season...and he's 19-17 as a starter in the majors. Like I said, something needs to be done here.

4. For the first time in my life, I have the ability to stand up straight, bend at the waist and touch the ground. Thank you Tony Horton and p90x.

5. I've learned that when Tiger Woods says he's changing his life, he doesn't mean the way he deals with reporters. Tiger's post-round interview on Sunday at Augusta revealed that to me. The reporter asked Woods to put this week into perspective...you know, LIFE perspective. And Tiger's response was "I came in fourth."

Yeesh. Yup, he's still a robot.

6. 43 days until the World Cup. USA! USA! USA!

7. Sometimes, my friends and I will have entire conversations that are made up of movie quotes. Don't feel bad...no one besides us can understand what we're talking about, which, most times, is absolutely nothing. I wish I could give you an example, but I fear you'd just stop reading my writing forever.

8. There is no bigger compliment you can give me than to say, "I can hear you talking when I read your writing."

9. I had dinner the other day with a die-hard Cleveland sports fan and I posed this question for him: If you could have all the players who have plagued Cleveland sports in the last 30-plus years together at one press conference (John Elway, Tim Couch, Michael Jordan, etc.) with their intention being to apologize to you for having wronged your city and deprived you of championships, would that make you feel better?

His response: "NO! Because then all anyone would have to do to antagonize us is to hold up a picture of that table of Cleveland anti-Christ's and we'd have no response."

My thought: "I'd have that picture framed and hanging in three different places in my house."

10. Ever wonder what happened with the Walrusman column I wrote back in the fall? I've had people ask, so here's the fallout:

-Somehow, Walrusman found the blog post, printed a bunch of copies, and called me out during class about it. No joke. There was a split second where I was legitimately frightened, but then I realized that I had become a member of the journalistic organization of "Writers Who Have Ticked Off Their Subjects" and then I thought the situation was hilarious.

-He made me sit in the front of the classroom (5th grade style) for the rest of the quarter and made an extra-special final exam (with my name already typed in at the top and on different color paper) for me to take.

-As I made the Walk of Shame to the front of the room, he read off some of my not-so-subtle haymakers aimed in his direction, and then threatened to sue me for "Defamation of Character."

-Then, in a hilarious, not-so-fluid verbal gesture, he mentioned that his tested IQ was 175, turned to me, and said "Grant, what's yours?"

-Then at the end of that particular class period, he offered to pass out copies of my column to the roughly 60-person classroom. My thought? More hits for my site. Is that bad? Ha! No!

11. Writing letters is a passion of mine. I don't get to do it a lot, but there's something about the tradition of it that lures me in, sort of like how black-and-white movies or radio broadcasters or Frank Sinatra will never get old.

12. Speaking of the radio, I'm going to be starting a podcast/online radio show for the Champs Sports Network, and I need some help from you. As of now, the show will be called "A Brighter Look with Grant Burkhardt" and it will be broadcast live weekly on CSN with segment ideas like "Today in Craig Sager's Wardrobe" among others.

What I'd like to hear from you is what ideas you have for show segments and for the title of the show. Don't like "A Brighter Look?" Tell me what you'd rather have the show called. I only get a limited number of views on this site (except, of course, when i talk about Walrusman), but I do value your opinions.

As always, thanks for reading.

My Problem with the Tiger Saga

  
     My problem is not with the Enquirer's story.
     My problem is not with Tiger's silence.
     My problem is not even with the never ending coverage of what could turn out to be a "nothing" story just because it's about a God-man who can hit a 9-iron farther than I can shoot a gun.
     My problem is that no one seems to have any respect for Tiger's family.
     For example, every major media outlet has begun calling his wife (yes, they're still married) Elin Nordegren.  Don't see the mistake?  She got married.  Her name is Elin Woods.  Nothing changes with an article from the National Enquirer.  Have some respect, please.
     I'm not saying that I have an opinion on his speculated affair.  The most I'll say is that I sure hope it isn't true, but mostly because I like to take the "Brighter Look" (hence the name of my site) on things.  I'll be the first to tell you that I do not believe ANYTHING a tabloid says.  I mean, do you?
     When you see a tabloid at the checkout counter, isn't your first reaction to read the headline and laugh?  Because they're obviously making a huge deal out of absolutely nothing.  And if Brad and Angelina don't have to respond to malicious rumors just because they're so used to them, why does Tiger?
     Thanks for reading.

Tom Watson will win the British Open

Tom Watson shot an opening round 65 at Turnberry today, and I'm predicting (more like hoping) that he's going to win the Open Championship.

If Tiger's not going to win (being seven back, it's a long shot, especially when his putter seems to have left its' magic in Florida), I'd love to see a man like Watson hoist the Claret Jug. Wouldn't that just be fantastic? A man who hasn't been truly relevant on Tour in five years to suddenly be in contention on Sunday at the British Open? Wait, haven't we seen this before? (See: Greg Norman, 2008)

His bogey-free first round already has everyone reminiscing about the 1977 "Duel in the Sun" at Turnberry where Watson and Jack Nicklaus wowed an entire golf community with undoubtedly one of the greatest golf tournaments ever.

This is already shaping up to be a tournament with an unbelievable number of subplots: John Daly's comeback (who isn't rooting for the guy?), Tiger's struggles, (hopefully) a weekend wind-storm that raises scoring by at least a few strokes, other senior citizens Mark O'Meara and Mark Calcavecchia only a few shots off the lead, etc. So why not Watson? I'm hoping he can channel the 1970's and provide some drama for golf fans again.

Lastly, and most importantly, I'd like to see Watson win because that would mean he would deny now-leader Miguel-Angel Jimenez a chance to win a major tournament. I really have nothing against the guy as a golfer, but, seriously, he's on the list of "Ugliest People Ever" and to top off his dreadful physique he absolutely tops the "Worst Dressed Golfer" list. Even Daly's ridiculous pants and Ian Poulter's "God Save the Queen" catastrophe don't compare to his ponytail and off-color clothing. (Disclaimer: I couldn't find a good picture of his ugly clothing on Google, and I can only guess the search engine imploded when looking at those pictures, so they just don't show them anymore)

Personally, I'm hoping for some stereotypical British Open weather so significantly less than 50 players finish the tournament under par. That might help Watson more than anything.

Or maybe Tiger will just blow past everyone and win by ten. That's probably more likely.