Sunday, August 30, 2009

"25 Things" about me

Yes, I know, I missed the memo for doing this when it was "hip," or whatever you kids are calling it these days, but I had a reason for waiting: now ALL the attention is on me! Muahahaha. Oh, I kid. Take it easy. This column poses a huge test to me, seeing as how I tell everyone everything about me. So, I'm going to try to make "25 things" full of things that I haven't told everyone. I apologize if I've already told most of these to a few select people.

1. At my core, I am a truly happy person. I'm thankful for everything I have.

2. All biases aside, I think "The Best Day" by Taylor Swift is one of the most beautiful, uplifting songs I've ever heard, and it always puts me in a purely magnificent mood.

3. You know those buzzers that places like Olive Garden give you to let you know when your table is ready? Well, every time I have one in my hands, I try to figure out how to make it go off. "Now, if I put pressure on the back right side and the front 'button' at the same time, do you think we'll get seated?"

4. If I think badly of something I've written that you may find great, it's not because I'm fishing for compliments. I have extremely high standards for myself.

5. Just because I cover sports doesn't mean I don't want to (or can't) play them. In fact, I miss competition an unhealthy amount. I've actually been perfecting my pitching windup and a curveball in my backyard to feel like an athlete again.

6. I am "crushed" very easily (see: my history in high school), but don't mistake that for legitimate liking. To get to that level takes much more.

7. On that note, I think having ridiculous crushes is healthy (if not only for me) and I think you should try it sometime.

8. I love sitting on my roof, looking at the stars, and listening to "Split Screen Sadness," especially when my favorite lyric comes up.

9. Stone Harbor '08 and Cle'cago '09 are the best trips of my life, and I'll be pleasantly surprised if anything comes near.

10. If you haven't watched or read the "Secret" yet, you should. It changed my life, it could do the same to you.

11. If I could come back as one person, I'd probably choose Jon Bon Jovi, circa 1980. The guy's got everything.

12. I hate that "Sportscenter" is becoming the CNN of sports. Instead of simply sports and great anchors (Dan Patrick, Charlie Steiner), ESPN has become just another "Breaking News Network." It's depressing.

13. I have a theory about the "One" theory, and it goes something like this: There is no "One," there are six. Go ahead, hold up six fingers. Put two down right away, you won't ever meet these two people (in reality, that number could be anywhere from 2 - 2,000, but I don't have endless fingers). Of the remaining four, you will date three people at the wrong age, under the wrong circumstance, and in the wrong setting. You could see yourself ending up with that person, but if only you had met, say, 5 years later. And that one finger left? Well, that's just perfect.

14. I'm a sucker for a great pair of eyes and a voluptuous smile. Perverts.

15. The Eagles are my favorite band, as they just surpassed the Beatles. Now that MJ is gone, Bruce is the greatest living entertainer/singer/songwriter. Hopefully I'll be seeing him live in a few months.

16. Looking back on it, playing high school golf was a mistake. If I had to do it again, I would stick with basketball.

17. I partially credit country music for making me the person I am today. I was once wound extremely tight, but now, I'm just glad "I'm Alive."

18. My family and friends get the rest of the credit.

19. No offense to Lou, but I may be the luckiest man alive. Or I at least have amazingly impeccable timing. I'm even in the wrong place at the right time sometimes. Ask my family. Bad things just don't happen around me.

20. If you ever want to know, for some reason, how to find the Audubon to the "Friend Zone," just ask me. They call that the "Grant Burkhardt Expressway."

21. "Bigger Than My Body" is about me.

22. I was once seriously asked if my name was short for something, like "Grantholomew."

23. If you turned an X-ray of my spine on its' side, you would see a question mark.

24. I'm very rarely visibly upset. I take the saying, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" and turn it on its' head. I take the good little things and let them get me happily through the day. For example, as I was pulling into a parking lot today, I circled around looking for a space, and, voila, someone was leaving one right as I pulled into that row. Kept me smilin' for a while.

25. I'm surrounded by amazing women. From my wonderful mother to my aunts to my grandma to a brunette to a certain redhead, they make me a better person everyday.

And isn't that all you can ask of someone? Just to try to be a better human?

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